I fight and brave the deepest wounds
The darkest words, the harshest sounds
I feel the depletion, slow and sure
Endure the infliction without a cure
I stand still, the walls break down
My valued treasure, all lost none found
I’m immovable; I’m true to reason
No one nears, touches my freedom
I smile to myself, this is all for him
Not a weak thread, not a fleeting whim
I reach out as he nears my terrain
His eyes are cold, no love no pain
I look for words, a fitting start
As he drives the weapon through my heart
3 comments:
Beautiful...
crazy crazy ... its complete in it self to start with... which is a very good thing ... like anyone with any brains can read it and get the riff .. and still it hardly gives anything away... love the weapon part .. but mentioning it as a sword or a knife would make it more romantic ... but then it depends upon how u like it ...
In the beginning its properly expressed how much can words hurt someone .. and the fact that they are just words and nothing more ... and still for there choice and the tone they are spoken in.... makes all the difference ...
its good over all i like it.. coz it makes a lot of sense ... and even that reason part... i like ..
Sim’one’ :-) Hmmm this is one side of yours that completely surprised me. In a good way of course :-)
When I first read ‘betrayal’, my mind was totally on a ‘different track’ altogether. I actually perceived it as ummm the voice of a rebellious young adult trying to break away from restrictions brought upon by people who think they control his / her lives – parents, etc etc. Until of course you came to the point you were trying to get at. In that respect the poem actually had so as to say – a twist :) in it – apart from the one you obviously intend to express towards the end.
May be the interpretation came about because I know you personally. But you know what I still feel that in the beginning it IS a cry of sorts to break away from bounds towards the last ray of hope, seeking deliverance….. WHICH sadly ends up fading away with the betrayal :-( Hain na? Hain na? We’re going to have an interesting chat on this when we meet. All in all – real pain there. Makes me wonder of what you must have been going through, witnessed or the incident that gave rise to those emotions. Hmmmmm :-)
Post a Comment